Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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