Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Randomize
