And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
