not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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