I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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