I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
These tits shall not be calmed
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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