Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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