Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
