You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
