I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
