How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
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ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
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Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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