sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
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You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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