I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
