I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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