Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
