Tell her she can't have a vagina
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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