I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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