I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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