I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
They took my balls.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
