I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
