Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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