but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
