I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
