Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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