just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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