Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
