woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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