When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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