You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
