The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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