i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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