At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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