When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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