I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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