you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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