Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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