a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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