I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Randomize
