More tranny stories later!
wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
