Tell her she can't have a vagina
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
