You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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