I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
