I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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