just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
