It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
