and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Randomize
