I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
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I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
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Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going