Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?