yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
