His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
