somebody snuck up and got me drunk
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I lost the right to judge tonight
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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