I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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