Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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