i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
