I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
