It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
