Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Randomize
