i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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