More tranny stories later!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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