At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Someone shattered a urinal.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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