she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
