Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
