i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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