i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
