i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
