I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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