I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
